Take Off! My Life and Times in Toronto
My life and work in Toronto, Canada.
My life and work in Toronto, Canada.
I overcame my trepidations today and went in search of a doctor.
In the same time I would have waited at my Allen, TX doctor's office to see him I called a clinic, drove to it, saw a doctor and had a 'script for an antibiotic. I had no wait, no appointment and it only cost $30 to see the doctor (with no Ontario Medical Plan card) and another $30 for the meds.
It was unreal. And the funniest part -- the doctor complained about how the Ontario health system was so lousy. I laughed. It is so much better than the pay-as-you-die system in the U.S. they should be grateful.
Casa Loma is an enormous three story Edwardian home built at the turn of the twentieth century for Sir Henry Pellatt, who lost possession of the home towards the middle of the Great Depression (he was a financier, go figure).
It's a big home with big rooms and some quirky things like watch towers, but on the whole, it's not that amazing. I've been to Versaille and the Schonbrunn so I've seen a really big home before. This is a nice place in the midst of Toronto's urban neighborhoods, but a far cry from a palace. And there's no A/C!
I took film photos which I'll post later in the week after they are developed.
PS. I didn't get lost, Christy!
The killer whale that I and my family saw at Marineworld Ontario (named Neocia has died. WRGB has this story, which incorrectly states the life expectancy of orcas at 25 years. I read somewhere else that it's more like 80 in the wild, which means this whale died as a teenager (she was 12).
A couple of weeks back, there was a story about her tossing a human trainer around like a rag doll (I saw the footage on TV), and it was alarming. When a killer whale wants to use you as a Plushy, you're the Plushy.
Reading about orcas in captivity has made me sick to my stomach. We are penning up cetaceans used to having whole oceans at their beck and call. The park tanks make the holding pens in Guantanamo Bay seem expansive. I'm not giving Marineland or Sea World any more money, ever.
Today is Geddy Lee's 51st birthday. Geddy started an obscure Canadian band named Rush in 1968 in Tornoto, Ontario.
I've been thinking about writing a bunch of small HowTo's about living in Toronto. This is the first one.
Some temperature comparisons from a local newspaper:
50° FAHRENHEIT (10° C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Canadians plant gardens.
35° FAHRENHEIT (1.6° C)
Italian cars won't start.
Canadians drive with the windows down.
32° FAHRENHEIT (0° C)
American water freezes.
Canadian water gets thicker.
0° FAHRENHEIT (-17.9° C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
Canadians have the last barbecue of the season.
-60° FAHRENHEIT (-51° C)
Mount St. Helens freezes.
Canadians Girl Guides sell cookies door to door.
-100° FAHRENHEIT (-73° C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Ottawa canal opens for skating.
-173° FAHRENHEIT (-114° C)
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
-460° FAHRENHEIT (-273° C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"
-500° FAHRENHEIT (-295° C)
Hell freezes over.
Leafs win Stanley Cup.
Saw this cool article on the IT infrastructure at Toronto's Pearson International Airport (PIA).
Stepping into the new Terminal 1 at Toronto's Pearson International Airport can be disorienting. Much of what travelers have come to expect from a busy airport is absent: There are no endless check-in lines; no throngs of stressed-out passengers out-maneuvering one another; no surly ticketing agents scolding those out of line. Even the security guards don't appear particularly overwhelmed. In fact, Terminal 1 looks so empty and new that you might think it was not yet open for business.The reality, however, is that Toronto's Terminal 1 is operational; it's just so massive that it's hard to tell. Terminal 1 handles passengers from up to 800 daily flights from 57 airlines—that's ten million passengers a year who all but vanish down its long, modern corridors. And they are long, too—leading to some of the longest hikes you'll ever take from gate to curb.
The terminal's floor plan covers 4.2 million square feet, its superstructure contains enough steel to build three and a half Eiffel Towers, and it has Canada's largest indoor parking garage (12,600 spaces). Renovation of the entire airport—three terminals in all—is scheduled for completion in 2008, and, by the time it's finished, the project will have taken more than 10 years, will encompass 4,464 acres, and will have cost $4.4 billion Canadian ($3.2 billion U.S.).
But it is not just the vastness of the airport, or of Terminal 1, that contributes to the uncrowded halls. Toronto Pearson International is also one of the first "common-use" airport facilities in North America, which means that it features a shared networking system that speeds up turnover of aircraft at the gates, thus increasing the flow of foot traffic inside the new terminal, while also opening up new opportunities for Toronto's airport authority. It's an approach that's having ripple effects throughout the beleaguered airline industry, and it's analogous to the shared-services organizations that IT consultants often recommend for their clients at large, multidivisional companies.
Terminal 1 is for Air Canada, which is in bankruptcy court and is having a terrible time sorting out its labor and finance situation. I hope they work something out, but alas, I will probably never fly Air Canada (they don't go to Dallas) so I don't see Terminal 1 except for late on Sunday nights when the GTAA long term parking bus drives me past its empty halls ...
As almost all of you in the U.S. don't know, Canada is electing a new government and Prime Minister tomorrow. Check out this site for an overview of the Canadian way of doing this. Take special note of the Govenor General's role in the election since the two main parties (Liberals and Conservatives) are polling neck and neck and a clear majority government is all but impossible after this election. It's all fascinating stuff and surprising in it's similarity to the last U.S. Presidential Election (e.g. Stephen Harper is a Bush wannabe).
The Globe and Mail has an article about riding the Breeze (i.e. "Spirit of Ontario") fast ferry from Rochester vs. driving. Does it come as a surprise to anyone that the ferry isn't as fast as driving (assuming you can go 120 km [72 MPH] the whole way)? The fellow who rode the ferry pointed out it's obvious advantages, and frankly, I think the race should have started at the dock when the ship departed. The outcome would be different under those circumstances.
The world's tallest free standing structure is twenty-eight years old today.
Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray!
The Toronto Star reports that the nation's first Linux-only computer store is opening in town this weekend.
Toronto will become home this weekend to what's being touted as the first retail computer store devoted exclusively to Linux-based products.Marc Silverman said many people are tired of having "Microsoft shoved down their throats" and a store dedicated to Linux gives the average computer user a chance to test computers and applications based on the operating system before making a purchase.
The store will have Linux experts to answer questions and a service centre that can handle repairs and upgrades.
Sometimes Toronto can be so cool!
This from Salon:
William Hung butchered "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" during the seventh-inning stretch of Sunday's matchup between the Toronto Blue Jays and Texas Rangers, much to the delight of 22,225 at SkyDome.The American Idol reject best known for his hyperactive, tone-deaf rendition of Ricky Martin's "She Bangs," shrugged off a brief smattering of boos and belted out the baseball classic off-key while fans egged him on. Some even joined in.
Hung's presence brought a gaggle of media usually indifferent to baseball to the game, including staff from Rolling Stone magazine. A team official said more media credentials were issued Sunday than on opening day.
The Blue Jays initially tried to bring Hung in opening day, but that conflicted with the release of his debut album, "Inspiration," which is nearing 100,000 copies sold.
"I still am surprised," Hung said before the game. "I can't believe it."
The record deal is certainly testing the limits on the Hong Kong native's 15 minutes of fame. A civil engineering student at the University of California, he's spending most of his time these days touring to promote the album.
This guy has taken a second mortgage out on his 15 minutes of fame, first with his horrendeous version of "She Bangs" on one of the retread "Gong Show" like reality TV shows. Now he's bringing life back to Baseball. What a world.
A two alarm fire broke out at the Royal York Hotel in downtown Toronto late last night, forcing hotel guests out into the street from 11pm until 1:30am. The fire was started by workers who accidentally ignited lint in the duct system, which filled the bottom three floors with smoke.
Ok, sometimes you stumble across a Canadian Fact that's just ... too bizarre.
This is the Institute of Household Science across the street from the Royal Ontario Museum. It turns out that it's part of the University of Toronto, but it's so conspicuously placed near a famous museum ... talk amongst yourselves!
After leaving Niagara-on-the-Falls on a secret mission (codename: Anne), we stopped at the Sir Isaac Brock Memorial.
The centerpiece of the memorial park is a monument to Sir Brock, who lead the initial defense in the Battle for Queenston Heights in 1812, when American forces crossed the Niagara River and took possession of Queenston Heights.
Leading the American contingent was none other than the man who founded my college, Stephen van Rensselaer (Note: the Ontario plaque misspells Rensselaer's name!). When we found this plaque at the base of the memorial, we were both wearing RPI hats and I had my best RPI shirt on. Talk about wearing the wrong dress to the party.
That's when Brian got the brilliant idea of walking up the inside of the memorial's column. It contains a spiral stair case that slowly gets smaller and smaller as one ascends.
By the half-way point, we were both feeling very, very old. Brian was huffing, and I was clearly enjoying all the benefits of not working out daily like I had planned.
The top of the memorial contained a small room with portholes to look out of, and a small rail and a lamp. It was like a prison lighthouse. We were both so winded, we could barely do anything but wonder how to get down.
Still, the view was spectacular.
You tell me I'm wrong. I think the old boy just kicks back and soaks up the sun in Toronto during the off-peak season. It's still cool enough here to keep him from getting heat stroke, and the Canadians are too polite to hassle him for autographs or early gifts. He just trims back the beard, a voila! a nice incognito appearance. We report, you decide.
For the record, Kris wears a toque and Mrs. K has gone in for the "street lady" look.
One of my favorite lines from Moxy Fruvous' song My Baby Loves a Bunch of Authors is about the streetcar driver who was too busy "reading the Toronto Sun" to look where he was going.
These street cars are just great. They can take out any Hummer (at last count, there are five of the automobile equivalent of Sasquatches on the road in town) but play nice when the little cars are around. Driving around them is an intimidating experience. Perhaps that's why Toronto drivers are so polite.
 | In today's The Globe and Mail is an short article about the delays in building a terminal for the "Breeze" twin-hull ferry which has arrived in the Toronto area now. I hope they get this sorted out before Anne and the kids get up here. |
The Toronto Maple Leafs start the second round play offs tonite against Philadelphia.
If you've known me for a long time, the previous statement should shock and alarm you. I've never had much interest in "men on ice with sticks", but the whole Toronto experience has me caught up in the playoff fever. (That, and the fact that the fans are everywhere like corner preachers.) I actually watched most of the play off games (admittedly, every restaurant in town has a TV -- or ten -- tuned to the games), and saw most of the game winning goals being scored.
I'm hoping Toronto faces off Dallas (not much chance) and beats the Stars for the Stanley Cup. Hey, I can dream, can't I?
I'm seeing a lot of Canadian Geese these days.
Mind you, that's practically UFO spotting for me since I get outside about twice a day ... and that's just to get back to the RI. Canadian Geese (for I suppose these monstrous, grey and black flying things are, in fact, Canadian) are, let me be blunt, large. I didn't realize anything that size could fly without kerosene and turbine engines.
You'll be standing outside, minding your business (i.e. bundling up just a bit more because it's even colder than you can imagine for April) and you'll hear, off in the distance, the sound of Italian drivers. Honking. Honking. HONKING.
Then, like a swarm of Mitsubishis, they dart overhead, flapping madly, just the way you'd imagine penguins would if they could fly, and for the same reason. These damn big birds are too big to fly! They called Hughes' wooden monster the Spruce Goose for the same reason -- nothing that big should be airborne.
Everytime they've gone overhead, I've stopped in my tracks and just watched them go by ... quietly honking off into the distance. Fascinating.
I was watching TVO tonight (the Ontario PBS), and I actually sat through a sports review of the NHL playoff. The back-and-forth ended with the journalists' predictions of the final contenders for the Stanley Cup.
I (for one) am rooting for Toronto ... go Maple Leafs!
 | I had heard, around the office, that of all the tourist traps in Canada, Niagara Falls takes the cake. Who am I to argue? This place is a zoo. A nut house. A carnival. A miniature Vegas. It's loud, tacky, in-your-face and a blast. |
The main tourist drag through Niagara Falls is called Clifton Hill, which starts at Falls Ave. and goes up to Ferry Street. On this two block stretch, which goes up with a steep incline, are all the tacky museums, shows and attractions on the Canadian side.
Popular around the world, the Guinness World Records Museum has a couple of gimmicks out front to draw in the crowds. The heaviest of them is a 10,000 lbs. granite sphere suspended on a cushion of water that you can spin with your hands.
At the bottom of Clifton Hill Rd., you have a spectacular view of the American Falls and the elevator system that transports tourists down to the Niagara River where the Maid of the Mist awaits them. Alas, she is not running until May.
Last Saturday I ran an errand for Melanie, stopping in East Toronto to order some wool for her at SEW'n KNIT'n SERGE outlet.
I don't know much about these kinds of shops, but this place was something else out of another era. "Little old ladies™" were lurking in all corners, and the Asian owner was a Hollywood stereotype of the small shop owner. I expected Monty Python pepperpots to spring on me at any instant.
Alas, they didn't have the wool Melanie needed in stock, so I ordered it for her and now I get to go back and brave the needles and scratchy stuff again in two weeks (after I get back from Dallas).
 |
The one big box retailer missing in Canada is Target. It turns out that the Hudson Bay Company's Zellers is the plug replacement for "Tar-jay". I'm tickled by the name because a member of the Ilk is named Zellers, which I had figured was pretty rare as names go. His monniker is plastered wherever HBC has a store. |
Canada has a kagillion square miles of territory, numerous Provences, and one tollway. Naturally, I live right next to it, and it's the fastest route to the airport, among other things. Called the Express Toll Road, it stretches for 100 km from just east of me to the west side of Toronto, and is actually highway 407 on the map.
It's also the only privatized, for profit road in Canada. This certainly explains the high cost of driving on it. You can drive it without the equivalent of a tolltag, but they charge an extra 3.35$CDN for the "video" identification of your car. The nominal rate is around seventeen cents a mile to drive -- the toll is based solely on distance travelled which is really quite fair.
 | The ETR uses active transponders, which has the benefit of you knowing you just got dinged for a toll. When you drive off the ETR, the tag beeps loudly four times. Just what my car needs, some more "machine that goes BEEP" on the windshield. |
Some of you can well imagine my delight at discovering that the European diner chain Mövenpick is here in Toronto. During my trips to Geneva, Switzerland, Mövenpick was an oasis, thanks to it's non-smoking section, in a sea of smokers' restaurants. And the coupe Denmark, ah how I remember it well. The best hot fudge sundae ever. At last! The coupe Denmark in my grasp! Hurrah for Toronto!
After pausing long enough to take the this photo ...
I rushed into the restaurant, only to discover that there are no ice cream desserts on the menu, and certainly no coupe Denmark.
None. Non. Nada. FEH.
Woe is ME!
I had no idea the fledgling science-fiction writer Cory Doctorow lives in Toronto. SlashDot has a story about what he carries in his travel bag (geek chic) that you can read here if you aren't squemish about utterly cool and expensive gadgets. I actually have at least one item he lists: the iPod.
In fact, I can match him pretty closely for gadgets:
I was watching the CBC tonite and I stumbled across one of the funniest shows I've ever seen. It's called Royal Canadian Air Farce, and it puts Saturday Night Live to shame. It's a sketch comedy show with excellent production values (the sets and the makeup are top notch). I saw a lot of parody of Canadian politics (they hammered the current PM over the visit by Kofi Anna this week) but also a good amount of ribbing of U.S. politicians, Dubya being foremost on their minds. They have released a DVD of four episodes from last year -- I plan on tracking it down and adding it to my collection of comedy classics.
Joe Bob sez "check out their website".
I discovered today, to my surprise, that Moxy Früvous is from the suburb of Toronto I find myself in these days. The group formed in 1990, and were "discovered" by the CBC. At the time, they only performed live, and it was central to their appeal. Once they began recording, they struggled to keep the sponteneity that made them so appealing.
In 1991 they wrote My Baby Loves a Bunch of Authors for a Canadian Writer's Convention in Toronto that featured the likes of Margaret Atwood and William Cansella. It's my favorite Moxy Früvous song (here's an excerpt that mentions the Toronto Sun).
While shopping at the local grocery chain in the "bachelor chow" section, I noticed a product category that genuinely puzzles me: the frozen hamburger.
Why does this product exist? Who buys it?
Why buy a frozen hamburger, which must take ten to fifteen minutes to reheat in an oven (after defrosting) and which must taste ... well ... awful, when you can go to any intersection in North America and buy one freshly cooked while sitting in your car! I can only imagine how bad it must taste to reheat one of these burgers in the microwave (let me take a guess -- like a Whataburger). Could someone explain the reason why there's a frozen hamburger selection in the frozen food (opps, I mean, bachelor chow) isle?
At the hotel tonite, the cuisine was "Sloppy Joes". In case you were wondering what they looked like, I couldn't resist "sharing":
I know. TMI.
Saturday I took a drive into the hinterlands, literally due north of Markham (thanks to those cartesian roads) into farm land. At the end of the 404, I found myself lost ... that is until I found the ...
Price Chopper. Oh ... my ... God. It followed me here from Troy, NY.
What in the hell it was doing out in the middle of no where, along with other Big Box Retail like Costco, Michaels, Home Depot, and (of course) WalMart, I'll never know. The Canadians are losing the war against NAFTA!
Look closely at the title of this blog and you'll see a little icon. Click on it to hear the "theme" of this blog. As I pulled out of my driveway in McKinney at the start of this trip, I programmed my iPod to play "Take Off to the Great White North!" (sung by Geddy Lee (of Rush) and "Bob and Doug Mackenzie"). It just seemed appropriate at the time. I still do.
Some of you have asked whether it has snowed here. The easy answer is "duh!" but the truth is that it has snowed a little (by Canadian standards) over the weekend, but nothing to get excited about. I walked to work in less than an inch of accumulation ... it was pretty yet harmless. Toronto (allegedly) doesn't get as much snow as New York cities on the south side of Lake Ontario (e.g. Buffalo, Rochester, Syracuse). That doesn't mean it doesn't snow here! But the big drifts are over for the season, according to natives I've asked.
 | Before I even crossed into Canada, my friend Mike Jones told me about his family's trip to the Prince Edward Islands (PEI), the eastern-most province of Canada. He noted several unique things about being in Canada, but one he raved about is "Tim Hortons". |
What is Tim Hortons? Imagine Starbucks and Krispy Kreme merged into one round-the-clock coffee shop. Got the image in your mind? Good. Now stop imagining and just go to Tim Hortons. They're the same place.
And, like Starbucks, they're everywhere in Canada. Even the PEI, which (before Mike told me about Tim Hortons) I used to think was just full of sheep and rocks. Soon, Tim Hortons will be opening Tim Hortons in the bathrooms of Tim Hortons.
OK, I stole that joke from The Onion but I'll be damned if it isn't true.
One of the odd things I noted about Canada when looking at maps of the road system (this entry should be in the That's a Canadian Fact! section, too) is how regular and gridlike they are. I couldn't believe it, I mean it's not like Canada is utterly flat like the rest of the Earth's surface just south of it, right?
Wrong. It is flat, at least the land between Lakes Huron, Erie and Ontario (aka Southern Ontario), and the roads are nearly Cartesian in their regularity. So a typical moment on the 402 on the way to Toronto might look like, say, this:
Three hours of this will get you
a) Lots of chances to stop at Tim Hortons for coffee, and
b) to Toronto.