The Staton Jones Report

Stage and screen veteran, Tony Randall, died today at age 84. He leaves behind a wife and 7-year-old daughter and 5-year-old son. What a dude.

Last September, Randall was booked as a speaker at the National Funeral Directors Association, where he made some controversial remarks about his own funeral:

WASHINGTON (AP) - Actor Tony Randall has a fantasy: when he dies President Bush and Vice President Cheney show up to pay their respects but they're turned away — because his family knows he didn't like them. Feeling his own mortality while suffering a cold, Randall, 83, made his remarks as the National Funeral Directors Association announced a new code of ethics for its members, beginning in 2004.

Funerals should be planned as a celebration of life and "a touch of humor doesn't hurt a bit," Randall said.

A comedian, Randall is best known for his role as Felix Unger in the 1970s sitcom "The Odd Couple."

He said his 6-year-old daughter, Julia, is old enough to appreciate the subject of death, and actually revels in it.

"She loves to talk about death," Randall said. "She loves stories about death. If I start a story, she says 'Does anyone die in this?' and I say 'No,' she doesn't want to hear it."

I don't think Julia will like this story, but I do. I'd really like Bush or Cheney to show up, but they know better. I found AP story posted to Free Republic and other Rabid Right sites, accompanied by tasteful comments such as this:

Not surprisingly, I have a fantasy about Tony Randall's funeral as well. I show up to the wake early, piss in his casket, and leave a bad Thai meal shit on his chest.

Fifty bucks says W doesn't even know who this fucking fart is, or if he does, it's as an anal-retentive teabagger in a shitty TV show.

Fuck Tony Randall.

Free Republic — as it sometimes does — managed to scrape up a lone conservative who could bump the needle on an EEG:

Tony Randall is a classic - this is a cheap shot by him, but I have always been a fan.

Randall is 'Mr. New York.' I've bumped into him at the opera and classical music room at the W 4th St Tower Records, on the Subway, etc.

He is an oldschool NYer - hopelessly liberal, in that NYC way. I wish he wasn't, but he clearly is.

His is a cool guy and a class act, notwithstanding this cheap shot.

See people? Genuine people can unite others across ideological divides!

Thanks, Tony, whereever you are (or aren't) for all the film and T.V. we'll be enjoying in digital clarity for years to come.